Posted on Friday, January 20th, 2017
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Email Sent to Charchil ShahClose
Here is some feedback about your pitch:
2. You started with a question about how many of us are worried about the world's biggest problem from global warming - polluted water. It's always tricky to start with a question. While we all may be worried about polluted water, we might not agree that it is the "biggest problem." Or, we might not see the connection to global warming. Bottom line, you're counting on your audience to come to the your same conclusion - which might not happen. Better to start with, "Environmental scientists rate water pollution as the most important problem facing mankind today..." Then give us a story to make this problem more accessible. So, "In a recent incident in Flint Michigan, 100,000 citizens were exposed to high dosages of lead that had been introduced into their drinking supply by upstream manufacturers. As a result, 10 people died and 2,000 children were admitted to local hospitals." Something like that. This will help us feel the pain. Then give us a statistic to help us understand the scope of the problem - we need to know that a LOT of people are effected.
3. Water pollution is a broad issue. You talk about chemicals from dyes, but what about farming, or sewers? This will help us understand and buy in to your solution. Why did you focus on manufacturing waste and is your solution focused just on reducing that?
4. I like the idea of a "magic" pill - but you should probably not use this phrase. It makes it sound like, well, magic, rather than science. Also, do people talk about "recycled" water or would it be better to call it "purified" water? Are people taking water out of a polluted stream, adding your tablet, and then drinking the water? Does your tablet also take out bacteria and minerals? (This is the tough thing about water purification - there are so many things in the water and each requires a different process or product in the purification process.)
5. Tell us how much the tablets cost so we can compare your CVP to other products. Why choose PureIt rather other filtration systems?
6. Be sure to ask for money and tell how you will use it!
7. Good first try. It's OK to imagine a solution, but then give us more details about how you imagine it will solve the problem.